I felt compelled to write a post today in honor of the most high of all mothers – my Heavenly Mother. This post began as an intellectual discussion about female deity, queens and priestesses, and the Priesthood that women are brought to this earth with. I stumbled and flubbed through it and ultimately deleted the entire work – knowing that I needed to testify of the things I have written here instead – no matter how uncomfortable it is for me to do so. Once I allowed the Spirit to dictate for me, the words flowed, and this short article is the result.
Eliza R. Snow – whom I believe had an intimate understanding of our Heavenly Mother, honored Her with a piece of poetry currently titled “Oh My Father” (originally named “My Father in Heaven”, later changed to “The Eternal Father and Mother”), which has since been adopted as an LDS hymn:
O my Father, thou that dwellest
In the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence
And again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation,
Did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood
Was I nurtured near thy side?
For a wise and glorious purpose
Thou hast placed me here on earth
And withheld the recollection
Of my former friends and birth;
Yet ofttimes a secret something
Whispered, “You’re a stranger here,”
And I felt that I had wandered
From a more exalted sphere.
I had learned to call thee Father,
Thru thy Spirit from on high,
But, until the key of knowledge
Was restored, I knew not why.
In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.
When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I’ve completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.
Text: Eliza R. Snow, 1804-1887
The first time I met my Heavenly Mother, I was praying in earnest – as I was about to do something I had been told by the Spirit to do that was crushing a paradigm I’d held all my life. I prayed that I would understand this thing, and be given further light and knowledge – and that the Savior would be there with me. As I prayed, suddenly – in the middle of my prayer, the connection (or rather the lack of connection I always seemed to feel – me being the weak link) opened up and my Heavenly Father was there in the room with me. I did not see Him with my physical eyes but I SAW Him with every fiber and bit of energy that made up my being. I knew it was Him; there wasn’t even a question as to who this being was. He was my Father Ahman. This was the first time I had been in His presence, and I had no idea that he was there to introduce me to the one He regards as the Most High Being in the universe.
He spoke to me briefly and then He brought an even greater being into the room. He kind of “backed off” and told me (using these exact words), “PRAY to Her”.
It was my Heavenly Mother. I knew her too – with every bit of my soul and existence. I was surprised She was there (even more-so than when the Father appeared), but only for a millisecond, and then waves of the most consuming love I’d ever felt came over me – like what I imagine my kids might understand if they knew how I feel for them, only magnified a zillion times beyond what we could ever understand or describe in this human state. I felt nothing but peace and this incredible love from Her.
I began to pray to Her as I was instructed to and the words that poured out of my mouth naturally and fluidly were regarding my own kids. Much of what was spoken between us was spiritual and not communicated verbally, but by exchanging the same kind of pure knowledge that we receive by the Holy Ghost – as our spirit communicates with the Father and the Son. Things were spoken between us that cannot be uttered.
I knew as the Father communicated with me spiritually, that She truly was THE most highly regarded being, and it was a great honor to be brought into Her presence this way – much higher even, than meeting the Savior or even meeting the Father Himself. It was truly an awesome experience that was emblazoned upon my soul – the record in heaven. I testify that SHE lives, and that all the heavens honor and revere Her.
I have no idea what qualified me for such a visit, but I can’t NOT acknowledge Her on this day. It is She who holds the creative powers in the Godhead; SHE IS The Mother of All Living.